Unwelcome ZOMBiE's Blog
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I Call Myself ZOMBiE CYGIG
"Educated" At Maha Bodhi School, Victoria School, Anderson JC, LASALLE College of the Arts
What I Do Lazing, Hobby Crafting, DIY, Graphic Design, Computer Stuff that you don't get it
What I Avoid Hipsters, Soccer, Apple Brand, Outings
How Am I Like Logical, Practical, Off-Beat, Anti-Social, Sarcastic
Hmm I was eating dinner downstairs when I suddenly though of something. While searching for “wrist” on google today, I found a site which is talking about depression. I once said that from secondary four till JC1, I suddenly grew very emotional. I just realized, its not that I grew emotional, but that I fell into DEPRESSION.
Let’s take a look into depression’s symptoms:
Depression Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" mood Feelings of hopelessness, pessimism Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities that were once enjoyed, including sex Decreased energy, fatigue, being "slowed down" Difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions Insomnia, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping Appetite and/or weight loss or overeating and weight gain Thoughts of death or suicide; suicide attempts Restlessness, irritability Persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive disorders, and chronic pain
Mania Abnormal or excessive elation Unusual irritability Decreased need for sleep Grandiose notions Increased talking Racing thoughts Increased sexual desire Markedly increased energy Poor judgment Inappropriate social behavior
Another type of depression is bipolar disorder, also called manic-depressive illness. Not nearly as prevalent as other forms of depressive disorders, bipolar disorder is characterized by cycling mood changes: severe highs (mania) and lows (depression). Sometimes the mood switches are dramatic and rapid, but most often they are gradual. When in the depressed cycle, an individual can have any or all of the symptoms of a depressive disorder. When in the manic cycle, the individual may be overactive, overtalkative, and have a great deal of energy. Mania often affects thinking, judgment, and social behavior in ways that cause serious problems and embarrassment. For example, the individual in a manic phase may feel elated, full of grand schemes that might range from unwise business decisions to romantic sprees. Mania, left untreated, may worsen to a psychotic state.
Well it seems that I have got both depression and mania. Looking under mania, WTF! Isn’t that me? OMG, I’m having mania, oh….
Well I do some A LOT of suicide thoughts. Whenever I got hurt I would enjoy the pain, thinking when I can die. Every time I’m sick I would think of how I would die of just a common flu.
Well not many guys will admit they got depression, but I highly suspect I have got. Haiz…how? Heaven treat me so unfairly? Haiz… blame it on me being too pessimistic, too unwelcome, too ugly, too stupid. Oh…I think depression will eventually lead to some mental illness. I admit I’m actually quite mad now. Su Yee said I belongs to Buang Kok Green (Mental Hospital). I think so… Am I mad for admitting I’m mad? Because most mad people denied their illness…