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Saturday, September 10, 2005
[ZOMBiE CyGiG] ranted at 10:23 PM --- Post#112636582013675116

All i ate was a curry puff frm yesterday afternoon....its about the 34th hour le....i refuse to eat...im tramatised...Mr Chio wrote such remarks on my Math timed practise...fuck me...make me more sad....im a total hopeless in Math liao...

Click to enlarge...fucked up comments by Chio...

Back home my mum keep nagging me to mug...seriously i really hate mugging to the core...why neh? During the period of O level, i gave my best and mugged like some shit...so??? I got some 11 points.. All my friends in AJ all get better than me...I realised there is no pay off in mugging. Its the study method...unless some saint can come to me and make me smarter...no mugging helps..

I was sooo worn out aft the O's...so? I love VS life, though its a total flop for me. Being ostracize and stuff.. I tried to change myself. I dun wanna be a so call "no-lifer" anymore, i start to hop out of my house to get some life, change my appearance abit and brush up my skills (watever shit skills i have) so tt im a bit less useless. And for once i enjoyed the 2004 Dec hols.

Final pic...

And aft a bit long time i realised how sad that JC starts...I neva wanted to go JC...my mum forced me...I miss my friends (though i have near none) in VS and stuff. I cried. Yes i cried. Since young i tend to cry a lot a lot, maybe thats the best way i can comfort myself and vent some grief...


So after demuggifying myself nutting changes...Maybe smthing...aft the convertion frm a "No-lifer" to a "some-lifer" i become more and more lazy...Plus all the sad past i had...nutting nice in my history...I realised aft so much i can no longer feel love. Or rather no one cares abt me. As sher hern and Su Yee noes... I can even "emulate" miss tang, emulate personalities and stuff...but neva able to build "love" out from the algorithm.

I realised no matter how much i try i cant get math right...or rather im too lazy with math. Some crap and useless subject that i neva liked (i failed A Math O level remb!) My wrk revoles about Comp Sc and Physics. I love physics though i cant get great scores. Econs is out of the story liao..

Oh ya back to now...yesterday aft im being saddned by Chio, my mum keep saying im useless (i noe im useless but dun sadden me anymore) and keep asking me to mug. I hate that. I hate ppl scolding me when im soo sadden liao...i hate....I decided to skip meals..

They say when a parent sees her son suffer, she feel twice the pain. I WANT HER TO FEEL MY PAIN! yes...im evil...I already lost my mind a long time ago. Mad due to sadness, and everything get saddenise...

But @ nite i decied to go out (i neva stepped outta my room since yesterday lor) to the Mooncake fest celebation downstairs by the RC...my mum urge me to at the curry puff and i well i just ate...just one...

Ok my mum asking me what to eat again..i think enuf...i had stressed myself enuf...maybe i shld eat again...I mean @ least she snd concern abt me...

Crap...very crap...i noe im upsetting my digestive system...maybe i can die by starvtion? maybe...someone kill me pls!

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