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Friday, October 07, 2005
Im afraid
[ZOMBiE CyGiG] ranted at 11:52 AM --- Post#112891852301296017

"Binomial thereom: one plus n plus n times n minus one over two factoria...eh that's in the Machlorine's series???? Binary search is take everything divide by half then search..Wait need to sort firt....Gravitational potential is minus G M over..r square? Or isit over r only???? Shit...How can i forget everything...ahh tml what subject???"

I opened my eyes and sat up, straightening my thoughts. Today is...Friday....I was dreaming. There is no exams today. Streams of thoughts crossed my brain as I am doubly sure that today is F-math and I should be resting st home.

I lied down once again, closed my eyes, trying to calm myself down. For the moment i was glad that everything was over. But the next second i thought of 17 October or perhaps next tuesday, when all results will be given back. A chill was sent down my spine to my ass and farted out frm my asshole. Haiz...im retained for sure. I knew i crapped my Promos.

I was particularly worried about my physics. Its not that i do not understand the syllabus, its that i have very poor time management. I always tell my mum that Physics is one of my better subject. I guess I have to let her down. Ok if physics is not my better subject, then im left with practically nothing.

Im afraid, what if other people get better grades than me? They will luff at me. They will mock me. Despise me. The teachers will mark me...Pinpoint me. I will be noted as one of those with "problems".

Im afraid if i get retained, do i have the face to see my then J2 friends again? No more computing next year, meaning im going to fail even more badly? How will my parents think? Im a fucked-up lan jiao child?

Im afriad if i go Poly, how will i adapt? Will I be bullied?

Im afraid if i go NS, will I make it alive?

Im afraid even i do get promoted, my laziness will drag me down, will I be more stress? How do i become more hardworking?

Suddenly fear grew in me...Im afraid of so many things. Im already depressed. I can die of depression one noe...I was lying there..feel like crying, but cant cry for nuts.

There are too much to be afraid of...

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