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Monday, October 02, 2006
"Its NOT in the mind"
[ZOMBiE CyGiG] ranted at 11:50 PM --- Post#115980430393633116

Depressant Drug - Fedex
Fedex (pink drowy flu med) seemed to be making me more enegetic. It seems to have some tranquilising effect on me, and effectively calmed my soul. It feels like taking some depressant when eating Fedex, suddenly you feel so nice to sleep, suddenly all the troubles seemed to have gone away. Suddenly i can sit down and concentrate. Yet, im good in fighting sleepiness thus the "drowy" part dun really stop me from doing my Photoshop and enjoying mooncakes. No PE for me tml. I had skipped all games PE session in JC. I dun like playing soccer or bball.

Fedex is no doubt effective, no more block nose or mucus. I had wetted my hanky this morning in skool just by sneezing. When i sneeze, mucus flooded out and i sniffed them back, thus choking my throat which will make a loud cough and produce phlegm. Thus today was just sticky for me.

Sour Grapes
Anyway i was wild thinking again. I always told people not to mug, be creative, bu guai lan, do what you like and persue in your dreams, rather than sticking to the A's. Then i tot again. Am i right? Or isit im just sour grapes that i cant great scores like a lot others? I cant get good scores than i tell ppl dun study and fail with me???

SH studied so much and got good grades for computing. I dun wanna bluff, but i did studied last minute. The reason why i dun say i mugged is cos for other subjects, mugging is practising papers and making mind maps. For computing i did the most basic - just select some and read lect notes. SH is a smart guy. But why he took so long to study and i took so little time and produced the same results? Why?

Dun tell me i have flare in it. To be honest, IIRC, me and HDD are the 2 two that came into JC without a single bit of knowledge on Programing. Kiat was a programmer long ago. Kai Yang anf Ani had attended courses before. SH studied in Sec 1 and 2 before. Me and HDD came in with nothing.

Guess the year i started Photoshop? 2005 yes correct when im J1. Guess the year i started learning Flash prgramming? 3rd quarter of 2005. Started C++ in 2005 as well. Which basically means im not some in born genius that hacked Windows since the age when you can go into Gal's toilet legall (age 8 in SG).

On the other hand, i keep telling myself i cant do math. Had i tired? No. Of course not, becos i hate that subject. I hated math since P1 when you are to do 50 questions in 1.5 hours. I dreaded math and liked Chinese and Science most. Thats why Ms Lee told me "you not only lag in practice, but lag in practice since YOUNG!". Same thing happened in O's where i gave up on A math and failed. But i cant give up Math C here cos i wun have enuff subject.

I dun understand. Why must everyone force me to do things that i dread and ignore other things im interested in? Why everyone tell me to "Its all in the mind, you can do it one!". WTF? I NOT being simply pessimistic i cant do math. Simply cos I HATE math. its ALL in the mind that i HATE math. I did bad for Physics as well, but im far mroe willing to spend times on physics despiting knowing i will fail than on math.

Again, isit cos i not willing to be hardworking thus failed math and use "I hate math" as excuse? Maybe?

"Its NOT in the mind"
I hate it when ppl keep saying "Its all in the mind", meaning you want to do it you can do it. Also "Hardwork 99% Intelligence 1%". There are nothing wrong with them. You got to work hard and achieve toget what ou want. Be it programming, photography, singing....

But when you dun not want something or hate smthing, there is no point saying "work hard for it". I dun want my A's cert and i dun want my Uni place. And ppl telling me work hard for it. Ok lets view this in another angle:

You tell your math teacher, "hey blogging is the cool thing now! Lets make this nice template for your blog! Then enter blogging contest!". And your teacher try and try.
Teacher: "This HTML stuff is killing me...erm can we goto math?"
Student: "No, HTML is easy!"
Teacherr: "Im getting headache over these man...I noob lah!"
Student: "Dun give up! Its all IN YOUR MIND!"
Teacher: "But im not into IT, i dunno what all these jargons are!"
Student: "Easy! Read digital life, hilight all the jargons, goto internet search..also..........."
Teacher: "I hate IT STUFF!"
Student: "DUN BE PESSIMISTIC! Come on, ITS ALL IN YOUR MIND, can one!"
Teacher: "But..."
Student: "No BUTs, focus, tell yourself you can do it, you started off learning blogging becos you want to enter the compy!"
Teacher: "Ok this is not what i want, i want to give up"
Student: "Give up, draw back? No way man, you had entered your name, if you submit a blank blog ppl will laugh at you! Dun let the Principal know becos it will relfect no good!"
Teacher: "Its just not my cup of tea!"
Student: "You think A Level's is my cup of tea? You think i like A's?!"
Teacher: "But dun waste your 2 years here!"
Student: "You also! U going for blogging course so long liao, dun waste!"
Teacher: "I haven achieved much for the course frankly!"
Student: "I learnt nuts on math yet the whole world wants to to take and fail the A's!"
Teacher: "Come on, be more heardworking, this is your crucial month, do your best can get A one!"
Student: "Ya you also, be more harsworking and come out with a nice template and contents, this last month for compy is crucial!!"
Teacher: "Stop wasting my time, blogging SUCKS!"
Student: "Stop wasting my time, math SUCKS!"

Well you see, when it comes to something that is simply not your cup of tea and you hate it, or forced to do it, "Its all in your mind" does not work at all! Cos its NOT IN MY MIND! Trying to persuade me to work harder for smthing I dread is going to disgust me more. Cannot say "learnt to love math". You hate means you hate. U cannot "try to love" smthing unless there is really smthing that worth me loving, but in the case of Math there is not.

Kiat will never befriend Dec. You can tell them "Its all in your mind" and nothing will work, they bash you up only. Or you can try "Try to like Dec/Kiat, you need it!". They bash up harder. The only condition is that both of them see some good points in each other, which is almost impossible since they had see too much bad points in each other for 2 years. More over i had gone through my dark life dreading math for 18 years liao!

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