Unwelcome ZOMBiE's Blog
This Blog is best viewed in 1024x786, in Firefox 3.0, Internet Explorer 6.0 or Opera 8.0 or above. Flash Player 9 or above required... That was for 10 years ago, most modern browsers can view my blog.
You accept the Terms and Conditions of cygig.blogspot once you start accessing this blog. Else, please leave immediately.
I Call Myself ZOMBiE CYGIG
"Educated" At Maha Bodhi School, Victoria School, Anderson JC, LASALLE College of the Arts
What I Do Lazing, Hobby Crafting, DIY, Graphic Design, Computer Stuff that you don't get it
What I Avoid Hipsters, Soccer, Apple Brand, Outings
How Am I Like Logical, Practical, Off-Beat, Anti-Social, Sarcastic
Went to Msia, Johor to play with some mini firecrackers. Those that I played were nothing compared to rockets and sky high ones that I saw there. Now I know why there are banned in SG, they are so damn dangerous! Some of them produce as much noise as grenades and 5.56mm's.
- Poppers (You can find these in SG too, its a small bag of explosives where u smack them on the ground and they explode)
- Mini Bee (Small cylinder design of a bee, light them up and see them fly into the air around 3m with green explosion)
- Small Twirlers (Burst into flames and twirl around on the floor, not very fun)
- Big Twirlers (Big version of Twirlers)
- Spinners (Cylinder shaped firecracker, when ignited spins vigorously on the ground with multi-coloured explosions and launching of mini cluster firecrackers at the end )
- Spark Shooter (Shoot lots of sparks into the air for around 30s)
How strange is it that, when im feeling good, everyone ask why i eat so much. And when im feeling pick, everyone ask why i'm not eating.
On thursday, i was doing work n suddenly felt super tired. So tired that i just fell asleep. When i woke up i can barely walk or talk or listen. To cut the story short, i went to the doc's n diagnosed of being overly exhaustive n mild insomia. Given lots of pills to eat n sleep.
I skipped a couple of lessons, and i found myself feeling guilty. . . Wtf, i used to skip lots of lectures during JC and never felt guilty before. . . What's happening. . .
According to a temple, I belong to "Green Tiger" this year. It's strange how you can be both a Dragon and Tiger at the same time. And this secondary zodiac changes yearly, what happens if it's the year of Dragon? I will be a double dragon???
In the Chinese Zodiac, you have:
Pok pok, rooster
and . . .
It's only when you start to play RC Heli outdoor, you will realised that SG government actually left us alot of empty fields for, i suppose, recreational use, despite our uber packed population density. From what I see, recreational use = let sports people play soccer or a certain kind of foreign workers to sit down all over and picnic. I feel so proud to be one true blue Singaporean Geek to make use of these fields for geeky purposes.
I woke up to a mixture of CNY songs, incense fragrance and the chattering sound of kitchen utensils. The next thing that i realised is that i had not done any work since yesterday. This is actually nothing uncommon, but no doubt bore the guilty feeling.
I did my 5BX (pee, shit, brush teeth, bath and shave) and begin to sit on my chair and VR-Chatted. For some reason, the CNY festive feeling actually seeped into my cold n depressed room. I stood up n actually opened my windows (i usually keep them closed), took a deep breath n studied the scenery outside - a jungle of hdb n cars, overexposed to a warm yellow from the morning sun. I guess the feeling at that moment is what Dipa (my drawing lecturer) described as "feeling good". Its not that i had never have this tranquil n relaxed feeling before, it's just that all of them are short lived, reality will soon invade my delusion n shatter everything w stress n worries. Like many other children (yes, im 12 yo), my source of stress comes from school. Probably mine went deeper as i take into consideration my seemingly smoky future, and my attitude problems.
I do realised that i lack a lot of motivation, and once i subject appears uninteresting to me, it will be hard for me to focus on it. I lose interest in things like i change underwear. Maybe nowadays i need not worry much about my relationship with my classmates and extreme fear of new environment , as i believed that i had stepped out of the mental obstacle through counselling. Truely speaking, my relationship with my Lasalle classmates are way way way better than in class 08, where there is only like one or two person who i can speak to, where the rest avoided me like a plague. Its ether that AJC, my former class or me is truely fucked up. I will leave that answer to you readers.
In singapore schools, holiday means more work. Despite being cny, there is no reduction in work load (in fact there is more) for us to actually enjoy our holidays. For me, my family don't really visit like 999 other families to tell them "gong xi fa cai", so i would still have some time to work. What about those who comes from big families or those international students? Will they have time to do work. Well, i believe that most people are hardworking enough. . . Unlike me. The mood of CNY is just wrong. So superficial. Happy on the outside but down inside.
Although i am no longer in depression, im not that happy with my life still. First, LASALLE isnt quite what i expected. I keep thinking its a school for slackers and keeping up with times using digital media. Im so wrong. Its fucking xiong and a lot of modules still require me to hand paint for the entire artwork. Not to mention meaningless research n documentation. This 'research n documentation' thingy isnt unfamiliar to me. I did it in DNT last time, which i hated so much, and my teacher told me to just focus on the end product n then fill it up later. But this method of working backwards isnt encouraged in LASALLE.
Digital based modules are like "touch n go" here. They give you lots of work in a very short time frame n expect you to learn photoshop or sketch up in that few weeks, one lesson a week. And they take up only a small fraction of the overall score.
Moreover, i have to spent tons of money buying art material that probably i would use only once or twice. And lots of stuff are overpriced in ArtFiend.
All these are not what i am looking at, seriously. But perhaps what i wanted is on level 1, which i will have to pass Foundation to get to. So everyday i ask myself, why am i paying money to a course that I thought i would like but in fact isnt quite the case. I joined LASALLE to liberate myself from typical tet education system and now i am stuck with this one. Good job zombie, good job. How i wish i could be as hardworking or as talented as the rest. Wishful thinking huh. No wonder i fail in life.
Testing my Lama v4 Xtreme mod outdoor. You will see at some point in the video the chopper could not be controlled properly, that is due to the strong wind during the rainy season near the end/starting of the year. Also, I find that the chopper is much more stable (less vibration) without the camera mounted. The maximum height during this video is about 10m, observed from my eyes.
When I dun sleep for a few days, part of my brain will shut down for energy conservation. I think it's my right brain, because i will have unresponsive or no emotions at all. Sometimes it's a stuck in depression state. In fact, this is the state i am in now. I bet when i wake up with enough sleep, i will find this piece of writing different from the rest of my blog post.
Sometimes this is good, it shields me from emotional hurt, yet on other times, my logical thinking could be distorted as well.
I should not lie to myself, but why is the course in school feeling so far from what i actually want? I want to deal w digital medium, i want to play w information technicalities involving design. But why, why, am i doing hand work everyday. I detest hand manual, im not going to be a fine artist, why do i have to draw everything by hand. Doing art work by hand is simply restricting my freedom n creativity, and to a large extend, im dreading it.
Why do i have to do research when everyone is reading on the same thing online. Just read from screen lor, simply n effective. Why do i have to do research n development when but there could be done on the fly? Must all designers come out w a book thick of cut n pasted research n articulated experimentation to produce an art work? Who defined those rules?
Some things dun make sense to me. Maybe it's time to go back to counselling?
Switching back n fore between the wide awaken me n the sleepless me is scary.