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Tuesday, February 02, 2010
[ZOMBiE CyGiG] ranted at 11:30 AM --- Post#6240697773873162941

When I dun sleep for a few days, part of my brain will shut down for energy conservation. I think it's my right brain, because i will have unresponsive or no emotions at all. Sometimes it's a stuck in depression state. In fact, this is the state i am in now. I bet when i wake up with enough sleep, i will find this piece of writing different from the rest of my blog post.

Sometimes this is good, it shields me from emotional hurt, yet on other times, my logical thinking could be distorted as well.

I should not lie to myself, but why is the course in school feeling so far from what i actually want? I want to deal w digital medium, i want to play w information technicalities involving design. But why, why, am i doing hand work everyday. I detest hand manual, im not going to be a fine artist, why do i have to draw everything by hand. Doing art work by hand is simply restricting my freedom n creativity, and to a large extend, im dreading it.

Why do i have to do research when everyone is reading on the same thing online. Just read from screen lor, simply n effective. Why do i have to do research n development when but there could be done on the fly? Must all designers come out w a book thick of cut n pasted research n articulated experimentation to produce an art work? Who defined those rules?

Some things dun make sense to me. Maybe it's time to go back to counselling?

Switching back n fore between the wide awaken me n the sleepless me is scary.

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